A Random Number of Random Things About Me. :)

Inspired by a Nameless Samosa.

1.       I am an absolutely hopeless romantic – seriously, I am in love with the idea of being in love; I’m that girl that they portray in movies, the one that is super single but has a huge crush on the hot lead male but no one knows? Like the girl in 27 Dresses that is so in love with the idea of love? Yeah, that’s me :)

2.       I always look at people’s teeth, eyes and hands when I talk to them – their hands totally give away how much they take care of themselves.

3.       I am totally frazzle brained – I can’t remember something that I said when I’ve finished my sentence, I just babble.

4.       I used to be a total spendaholic, I now hardly ever buy things because otherwise I’ll buy the whole shop.

5.       Hugs make me incredibly happy.

6.       I have a fetish for shoes and have way too many pairs of pyjamas.

7.       I just have too much clothes. Period.

8.       I love photos.

9.       Sunflowers are my favourite flower.

10.   I have a really big range of weird laughs.

11.   I find mirrors super distracting!

12.   I cannot wrap gifts to save my life, I prefer giving gift bags. Wrapping all the gifts at Christmas is slightly heart-breaking.

13.   I find disrespect (the whole bad-boy thing) and low-riders super unattractive.

14.   I don’t understand why people need to swear.

15.   I love compliments – I know it sounds dumb but the smallest compliment can put me out of a massive bad mood.

16.   I write too much.

17.   I am secretly a very mischievous person and love pranking people. This apparently can get mistaken for flirting if guys are involved… But it’s not.

18.   My laptop hates me.

19.   Those security beepy things outside shops and escalators scare the life out of me!

20.   I cry in most movies.

21.   I am actually extremely shy but when I am comfortable around you I never shut up.

22.   I have never had a sleepover not at my house. Ever.

23.   Since this is number 23… September 23rd stands out to me as a date. I have no clue why.

24.   I always have the urge to dance at the most random of places.

25.   I cry my heart out when other people cry, even if I do not know why they are crying.

26.   I love going for walks.

27.   Whenever I feel a breeze on my face, it feels as if God is dancing with me.

28.   I cannot tell you how much I appreciate my friends and our inside jokes.

29.   I find 29 a random enough number to stop on :)

 

Not Your Average Girl

Just your typical girl next door; wild hair, dedicated nerd and sports enthusiast. Yeah, that’s pretty much me. Apart form the ‘typical’ bit. I am by far not your average girl.

Most girls my age have had a boyfriend, or two, have been drunk, are chasing after boys, party all weekend and wear as little as possible. I’ve been single my whole life, only ever had two glasses of champagne at two different celebrations, see boys purely as fun friends to have (for now ;) ), am far too busy to have a social life and have a very modest sense of style. And guess what!? I love it!!!! Still think I sound foreign? I put a little something together with the help of my very supportive family to help you; here it is:

Not Your Average Girl

She is mischievous,

She is loud,

She is bubbly,

She is devious,

She is the life of the party.

But she is moody,

She is shy,

She is intense,

She is cautious,

She is a dedicated nerd.

She is genuine and kind,

But she does not get crossed twice,

She is fun and competitive,

But she does not handle crudeness,

She is loving and caring,

But she is not one to get romantically involved,

She is faithful and loyal,

But she is not a bible-basher,

She is part of the crowd,

But she is not your average girl.

I do not mean at all to criticise people in teen relationships, you make my life dramatic and fuzzy with love, but I am not at all an advocate for teenage relationships. I see dating as practice for marriage – agreed? – and so I take on the teenage approach and I am not practicing for something that is not going to happen within the next few weeks. I am a devoted Christian, but I am not one to tell you that you have to be one too. I will share my faith with you and pray for you but I will not force you into anything – your life isn’t mine. I am a loud, bubbly person who loves getting up to no good  but I am shy at heart and probably won’t be the one to approach you in town and ask for your number. I am a touch person; you know you are in with me if I touch your arm when I talk to you. But, like always with me, there’s a catch. I do not touch boys. Now, before you leave your computer screaming ‘Nun!!!!!!!’ please let me explain because I often get a lot of stick for this one. Because I am such a touch person – seriously it’s really bad… - I get really affected when people touch me. Honestly, I know it make me sound like a dodgy person but it’s just my love language, when people touch me –from a touch on the arm to a hug – I feel really warm and fuzzy inside. Because I get so badly affected I stay away from touching boys due to a little thing called hormones and another little thing called purity.

Ok, it’s really late, the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Concert is nearly finished, I am exhausted and I have had a blast in the snow that fell today – I may leave you a photo down below… – so I will love and leave you there on that very scrambled note. I hope that I have left you with a bit more of an insight to my very blonde, space head brain and a little more of an understanding of that kid at school with the strange rules and regulations; dig into their brains, there may be a nugget or two of wisdom in there for you.

Oh, just to finish off, I’d like to share the lyrics from what I have adopted as one of my ‘theme songs’ :)

"Average Girl" by Barlowgirl

So what I'm not your average girl

I don't meet the standards of this world

Chasing after boys is not my thing

See I'm waiting for a wedding ring

No more dating

I'm just waiting

Like sleeping beauty

My prince will come for me

No more dating I'm just waiting

'Cause God is writing my love story

Boys are bad that's certainly not true

'Cause God's preparing one for you

If you get tired waiting till he comes

God’s arms are the perfect place to run

Sleep that's the only thing

For me 'cause when I sleep God’s

Preparing one for me

Expecting Change – or Changing Expectations

When life becomes unpredictable; do you expect change or change your expectations?
The last four months of my life have been challenging; everything has changed, and then changed again. All the expectations that I had for the move, all the hopes that I had for the future changed. Maybe I had my head in the clouds, dreamed to extreme and never gave myself a reality check. Even though I expected change, life forced me to change my expectations.

Changing schools for the first time, having to make new friends and having to start building a new name for myself on the netball court, took a bigger toll on me than I expected change would. At heart I’m a shy person so having to make new friends chilled me to the bone. It still does. I came across very unapproachable, probably stuck up, but honestly, I was dying inside. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, I didn’t want to be able to trust anyone, I didn’t want to open up to anyone. I didn’t want to be happy here. Why? Because after a few days; I was forced to change my expectations.

I moved with the expectation that everything that my family had built up over the past 12 years in New Zealand we would just find comfortably on the other side. I expected that I would be welcomed into my new school like we used to welcome new kids at my old school and that I would succeed further on my past victories. Basically, I thought that I would just be able to continue with my old life once I moved. Yes, I expected that there would be change but not on too large a scale. But, like I mentioned before, it only took a few days for reality to kick in. I realised that my expectation of just continuing with my over-easy life would have to change. I wasn’t in the same community, not even the same island, so I couldn’t expect to live the same life. Expecting the change in my life was easy, because it was a cliché expectation. But having to change my expectation on what to expect was tough.

I said earlier that I didn’t want to be happy here and sadly that is true. I was frozen with shock when I realised what the word change means – nothing, or barely anything, stays the same – and I was nervous that what I would find would not suit me. I was comfortable where I was and I wasn’t in the mood for discomfort, having to fit into a new mould so I sub-consciously made up my mind to not be happy. I didn’t realise it until recently, that I was choosing not to be happy. I knew that I was miserable, that I wasn’t settled and that change was getting the better of me and that I desperately didn’t want to be miserable but I never realised that I was doing it to myself. I missed my old life, my friends and my future that I had built for myself at netball and was intimidated by my new environment, scared by the very different type of person that I was encountering and disheartened by having to start all over again but I let that steal my happiness from me.

I wouldn’t say that I am totally settled yet, I am still getting to know how this community works, how the people live life and everyday I am having to pioneer my future all over again but I have to admit, with changed expectations and a new outlook on how I am going to do things, life has gotten much better. I am now relating to those around me with more ease, I hope that I am seen as more approachable and am seeing all my previous struggles as challenges – but the type of challenge that is looked at positively. I am willing to take on the tasks set ahead of me, willing to take the risk or discomfort and pain for the sake of my happiness and my future.

I am faced with a lot of pain in the world, I can see it in people’s eyes and hear it between the lines of their conversations but I am determined, that as I changed my expectations in life and brightened my life, that others might start doing the same.That the sweetness that now lives in my heart, will rest on those that I encounter. I heard a really nice analogy once; that sweet people are like a rose garden. After spending time in their presence, you leave with their aroma on you. I hope that with my new transformation of mind and heart, that I will become a rose garden to my community, that I will be able to give back some of the sweetness that I have found in myself since moving here.

This whole journey so far has taught me that life is truly just what you make it out to be; how you look at life and take on each day determines what you will get out of it. I have taken up the challenge and dare you to do the same; take a look into how you are seeing life, examine what your most frequent emotion is and change your expectations to give you more happiness. Don’t expect too much of yourself and those around you, be realistic.

Emotional Memory

That hit song, that familiar scent, that childhood friend, that comforting dish, that favourite clothing piece, that specific place, that humorous phrase, that heavy weather, that family occasion, that certain time of year. These are all nostalgic things that trigger an emotional memory.

An emotional memory; what is the difference between that and just a plain old memory? It is an idea that I have been toying around with for a while and still struggle to find the right words to describe it. It is more than just remembering some thing, some one, some time or some place, it is experiencing them all over again. No, not just experiencing them; letting them flow through you. Letting yourself be overthrown by the emotion, smell all the aromas, see all the sights, hear all the sounds, react to the people, process the thoughts and then having it mix in with reality. There are a lot of long lists in this post but I want you to read them slowly again and chew over them in your mind.

I am going to go through a few of the triggers one by one, starting with the three that have been surprisingly the strongest to me lately.

Smell, probably the most underestimated of the senses but for me, one of the strongest ways of experiencing the world and remembering the past. Smell in a way encompasses all the other triggers: people normally have a certain smell, some places can have a very distinct smell, certain weather and seasons’ smell is very memorable. But it is the personal aromas that trigger my memory. I have what may seem a very peculiar habit of smelling people when I am near them. Subtly of course, I do not just stick my nose at them and take a nice big nose full; that would just be creepy. But with the amount of perfumes, soaps and deodorants around these days, especially those heavily applied ones in teenage circles, make it very easy for someone to develop a distinct personal smell. I find that when I smell a certain deodorant or perfume, I always associate it with someone which then in turn triggers the memories surrounding that person. I tend to jump from deodorant to deodorant; being a sports person I have quite a collection. I recently have switched back to a deodorant that I used for basketball in winter last year which triggered all the memories from then.

Time of year and weather may seem a very strange trigger to some, as it was to me when I first discovered it. But the more I thought about it, the more obvious it became, we often focus on the weather for memories. “I remember another day like this when…” Ring a bell? Recently, with the change in the weather, past wintery memories have come flooding back to my mind. Days when my thoughts would wander out into the winter, get caught up in a gust of wind and only come back to me when the weather calms. I find that it is annually, during the autumn and winter seasons that my imagination become overactive as the rest of me freezes. In summer and spring, the hot days bring back joyous memories. This trigger relates back rather strongly to my previous post on Heart Seasons as I find that as the weather goes, as does my emotions; just sometimes the other way around – I am my happiest in winter and rather bored in the summer. Time of year and weather cover most of the other triggers as often you will use things in certain seasons or at certain occasions that may trigger a memory.

Songs are a very obvious one. We’ve all had that one song that we’ve spent hours singing and dancing to with friends or family or that song that played at a very monumental occasion that now carry the emotions of that time(s). And sometimes the lyrics of the songs, I have found, relate perfectly to the memory – I am a word person (as you may have gathered…) so the lyrics of songs really stand out to me. For example, a few years ago I went back to South Africa for my cousin’s wedding. We spent the week on a game farm and I had the time of my life with my sister and cousin – we got up to all sorts of mischief. At the actual wedding, which was the final event for the week, the song ‘Dota’ played about six times so as you can imagine that song now carries a very strong emotional memory for me. Every time I hear it I think back to that time, what was bubbling through me and consequently all the other mischievous things that I have done with my cousins… My biggest emotional memory attached to a song though is by a mile ‘Firework” by Katy Perry. I am by no means a fan of hers but that song was my netball team’s song by mistake last year, it gained dance moves and was performed all over the North Island – at UNISS, a random BP station in the middle of nowhere, Sports Prizegiving and my team even flash mobbed me with it at our yr10 conference. Since then, hearing it at my new school in drama, it brought back that hoard of emotions and I was obliged to tell the story. We consequently flash mobbed our Easter Service with the song and if I have to say so myself, it was amazing.

Friends, places, occasions and phrases – such as a movie quote or inside joke – are very obvious triggers; they are the ones that often send us down a 

Memory Lane

trip to be cliché and more often than not, leave us in painful hysterical laughter. They are so extremely obvious that I am not going to bother going into them. If you are not sure of them – leave me a comment below.

Food dishes; they are probably one of my more radical ideas if I am to be perfectly honest. Most of us will have that meal that is our mother’s fall back option of busy days, the other meal that is devoured by our family before we can think of having some and that very traditional or cultural meal. Maybe it is that one that we always have at a birthday or Christmas or one that is tied to your ethnicity. They might all be connected to another trigger – time of year, weather, place or occasion. But all hold a definite emotional memory. Think of your favourite dish – when do you most often eat it? What affect does it have on those around you? What do you feel when you’ve eaten it – other that satisfied of course? Bam, you have yourself the most delicious emotional memory ever.

Clothes are another one of my strange ideas but I have found that they definitely carry an emotional memory. As I have already mentioned, it is now nearing winter time here in lil’ ol’ God’s Own and that means that the time has come to don the kilt, long sleeved blouse, tie and blazer. Last winter I got my first blazer and it was during quite an emotional time of my life so when I walked onto campus at my new school this year I was almost expecting to walk into a rainy Auckland day at my old school and I could even imagine the conversations that I was about to have, who I wanted to go see, who I wanted to get a hug from, who I wanted to tell about my holiday and who would be waiting for me to go to class. So you can just imagine the disappointment that I faced in not finding who I was looking for and it being a sunny day. But every time that I adorn myself – wow, reading Pride and Prejudice really has increased my vocabulary – with my blazer I get assaulted by all of the emotions that I faced last winter, the triumphs and the defeats of my soul and the thoughts that passed through my head. But I have noticed that as the term has progressed, new emotions are linked to my blazer, new memories founded with new friends. It has been amazing to me, the emotional memory that is carried by a piece of clothing. Just now thinking through some of wardrobe, I am taken back to many different days filled with many varying emotions presented to me by the different items in my closet.

Before, a memory to me was merely just that but have a newfound love for the experience of the memory. Reliving them, pushing yourself through them once again and coming out the other side warm and fuzzy or chilled to the bone. I am not too fond of recalling the ones that chill me but I find it fascinating the effect that a song, a scent, a person, a dish, a piece of clothing, a place, a phrase, a weather pattern, an occasion and a time of year can have on my heart. Take some time, I challenge you, to fish through the pond of triggers and push yourself through your memories properly, feeling them once more.

I feel so much better now that this has been posted! :)

 

My Sincerest of Apologies.

It has come to my attention through much gentle verbal abuse from a friend that I haven't blogged in about a month. I must apologise for this. You see, I have started on a new post but it is one that I have to wrap my brain around a few times before it comes out right. So I will be hopefully posting it soon!

Oh, just bare in mind that my busy time of year has kicked in and my spare time is few and far between. But if you want a new post please leave me a comment on the existing one and I will work a little bit harder on it. I aim to haopefully blog atleast once a month.

*Shout out to Karpetroly Romie Swartier!!!* My devoted blog reader, scholarly friend, afrikaans student and brain. :)

Jesus Rush

Wait.

 

Can you feel Him?

 

My Jesus.

 

I can feel Him everywhere.

 

In the wind...

 

... in the air...

 

... in the light.

 

He's all around us.

 

All you have to do is open yourself up.

 

All you have to do...

 

... is wait.

I was at Parachute Music Festival this past weekend and I experienced Jesus in a surreal way. I felt Him move me like I did when I was younger. I felt Him in the wind.

As a young girl, whenever I pressed into Jesus and started feeling Him move my spirit, the breeze would blow through the shutters. He would blow through and physically refresh my body. Hug me with the breeze, envelope me with his love through his creation. Even in churches where there were only small windows, I felt Him in the wind.

When I took the time to think it through, it is when the wind blows outside that I feel Him the most as well. It is then that I experience Him the nearest, press into Him the deepest and feel Him the dearest. It is then that He builds me, encourages me and refreshes me. When I feel Him in the wind.

While at Parachute the breeze started circling me, I was reminded of the time spent with Jesus in the wind and the quote from August Rush that I edited above. There is such power in the opening phrase for me, such awe and belief. It sums up my experience with Jesus in full, feeling Him in the wind, smelling Him in the air and seeing Him in the light.

The last three lines teach me truly how to experience Jesus with your senses. ‘All you have to do is open your self up. All you have to do… is wait.’  When we stand in God’s presence, we soak ourselves in His love and open ourselves and our senses up we experience Him in a supernatural, sense blowing way. There is a verse in the Bible, in a Psalm where it speaks about finding strength in the Lord, praising Him and seeking Him, it finished with ‘Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.’

 I challenge you, open yourself up, soak Him in, wait for Him and feel Him, see Him and smell Him in the world around you. Experience the Jesus Rush.

 

Heart Seasons

I was sitting in class the other day, thinking through the emotional ups and downs that we all go through. We, especially as teens with the hormonal help, all go through rollercoaster ride, but all experience it differently. Some give in to the lows, becoming depressed and finding little joy in life. Others fixate themselves with the highs and are happy all the time, feeling absolutely no emotion. Both are dangerous places to be. Others just buckle in and make the most of the $2 they paid for their ticket.

When we are so focused on what goes wrong in our lives, dwelling on the pain inflicted on us and the mistakes we make we cannot possibly find any joy because we are out looking for miserable situations. We do not expect to find happiness, so we do not recognise it when it comes our way, we see only the pain. We are not able to share our passing joy with others even if we do find it because we feel as if our joy is insignificant compared to what is going around us. We begin to ostracise ourselves, pull away from the constantly happy because they make us feel bad about ourselves but also avoiding the others who are constantly in pain because they only bring us down further.

The same is true for those of us that focus purely on the happiness. Often it is to run away from severe pain in the past, just to experience joy because one miserable moment can bring it all back, or it can be just a mask we wear in public. But when we only see the happiness, which is portrayed as the ideal person to be in our world, we miss the pain and suffering of others, miss the opportunity to comfort them and relate to them. When you are in pain, is it easier to talk to someone who seems to only have ever had together, always happy or someone who you know has gone through your pain but has come out the other side? Also, when we are constantly living that happy-high life, we may not realise when we hurt others because nothing bothers us anymore. We do not see the impact of our words because we do not realise anymore what hurts and what helps; neither are experiences we have anymore.

But when we strap in, hold tightly to the hand rail, scream when sprayed with water or dropped upside down, smile with our hands up in the air by the camera and go for a second ride when we're done; that's when we truly enjoy life. Going through the ups and making the most of them, plunging into the lows but learning from them and ensuring that we are supported by the people around us. We need to learn to go with life's emotions; experience them, learn from them and make the most of them.

Our emotions are not quite like a rollercoaster, where you can see every turn before you even get into the cart, but more like the weather. Well, Auckland's weather; unpredictable but following some sort of rough pattern; summer, autumn, winter, spring. But the only difference is that our seasons may not last for the standard 3 months, differing like Auckland with all four seasons in one day.

I have written a poem while in the pits of the emotional low, but it's too depressing to share here and so I thought I'd jot down a positive poem about the rollercoaster of our hearts. So, without future ado, here it is:


Heart Seasons

 Just like our home,
This planet on which,
We find ourselves,
Our hearts too,
Go through seasons.

Troublesome times bring,
Torrential teardrops,
Hurricane gasps,
Horrendous heartache,
Our heart winter.

After tears, must come,
The shining rainbow of,
Forgiveness and renewal,
A time for new dreams,
Our heart spring.

Intensity of feelings,
Joy, love and success,
Escalating emotions,
Time to just soak in,
Our heart summer.

Times of change bring forth,
Falling and colouring feeling,
Again tough times,
Disappointments and change,
Our heart autumn.

Valentines

So we all had Valentines last week, or for those of us who are proudly single, Single Awareness Day. My Dad spoiled us four girls (My mum, two sisters and I) with gorgeous cupcakes from the Riccarton Mall's Cupcake Shop and thought I'd share the photos with you. Just a big thank you to Daddy for spoiling us and making us feel very special on a day where single girls can feel very out. Love you Daddy!!!

 

Us girls' cupcakes

 

Mummy's cupcakes

 

A Temporary World

It’s new. It’s clean. It’s special.

It’s old. It’s broken. Throw it away.

They’re new. They’re fun. They’re always near.

They’ve been there awhile. They’re busy. Move on.

At a new place. Everything’s exciting. Life’s wonderful.

Been there awhile. It’s all the same. Let’s move on.

It’s the mind set of the 21st century. When it’s new, it’s great, it’s all we want, all we talk about, all we do. But when it ages a bit, breaks or just becomes ordinary; we get rid of it. No fixing. No treasuring. No trying again. Throw it away. Move on.

But is it really a mind set that we should be practicing, embracing and transferring onto others?

We do not only reserve this mind set for possessions but extend it to people and places too. When an object, place or person has been around for sometime and is wearing at the edges; we would rather take the easy road out. Because of the fast paced life that we live, we do not make time to fix, maintain and re-kindle.

We all know about the consumerism issue but what we don’t realise is that we are doing exactly the same to people too.

When we are not getting out of friendship what we want, we are quick to throw in the towel. But are we putting in the same as we are taking out, or are we just drinking the well dry? Yes, people grow apart and move on, but why is it happening so frequently and easily? Why so often in the relationships that were meant to last a lifetime? It is because friendship with oneself, with your wallet and material things, are becoming more important than relationships with other people.

We use people for temporary joy. And then when life gets tough, people are down and we do not experience the same joy as always, we walk away. Instead of being willing to sacrifice something for someone else, it is too much for us to handle. We walk out fast and run into the next temporary joy.

Where have the stories gone about the two little girls that grew up as neighbours, became the best of friends and died together in the retirement village? When did Taylor Swift's ‘Mary’s Song’ become a fantasy rather than reality?

Why are we treating people like temporary objects? Only to find out that we really needed them, appreciated them and miss them after we’ve shown them the door?

Why are we wasting the wonderful gift of other people that God has given us?

 

Why are we creating a Temporary World of Temporary Joy?

Mini Adults

I was sitting thinking the other day about the children of today, those growing up amongst teenagers and adults especially. They grow up thinking that they need to be like the older people around them, they act like mini adults. Often the behaviour that they copy of the older generation is the negative behaviour, the shadow side of their heroes. It is not by choice that they do that but rather by chance. Memorable behaviour is like any other memory, the negative has such a big impact on you, making it easier to remember, more likely to copy.

The humour of the older generation, teenagers especially, is seen as ‘inappropriate’ for young children. The jokes can be grown up, sarcastic or with an attitude not suited to the younger children.

It irritates me when younger children act older than their age but I have come to realise, I have no right to. I am the one setting the example. What they do is a spitting image of me, of my generation. The world today does not establish an environment where young children can grow up as children. We do not provide what they need to enjoy their childhood; we push them along to grow up faster.

The whole issue around children not growing up as children anymore, not being in an environment for children has been bothering me a lot this past year (2011). Before it just bothered me, disturbed me but seemed an issue out of reach. How do we fix a global situation of ‘Mini Adults’? How do we maintain children as children? It bothered me to the point that I wrote a poem about it, I will put it at the end of the blog.

But now I have come to the conclusion that it starts with me. It takes one to make a difference, to change one life, to impact another.

When I was younger, I idolised anyone that was older than me. I wanted so badly to be like them and I believe that feeling sits within all children. I realised that the life I am living is not one that I would want someone to copy (Not that I live a bad, sin-filled life). My life wasn’t one of a world leader. And that is what our lives aught to be, a life that a world leader would live. Not in riches and materialistic things, but in character.  There is an old cheesy saying that says, ‘To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world.’ Live as though you may mean the world to someone and that that world may be a good one.

Are you with me? Let us make a change in our lives, to better the lives of the children around us. Let us mean every word that comes out of our mouths. Let us laugh for real. Let us cry for real. Let us love for real. Let us be real to give a real environment to those around us. Let us be world leaders and life changers.

Through the eyes of a child.

It is often said that to see the world,

In all of it’s beauty and innocence,

One must look at it,

Through the eyes of a child.

When I was a young girl,

This saying was as true as it will ever be,

Dad was the tallest, smartest and strongest,

Mum was the best cook and could make any sore better,

Through the eyes of me as a child.

Now as I grow up,

I am beginning to see the world,

In all of it’s raw state and devastation,

Through the eyes of an adult.

I begin to wonder what happened,

Where did the beauty and innocence go?

Has the world really become such a terrible place?

So comes the time when to see we must,

Look into the eyes of a child.

Children are growing up as adults,

Doing things behind parents’ backs,

Hoping it stays in secret,

Acting like the people around them,

Taking on the rudeness of the world,

The beauty and innocence was never there,

In the eyes of children today.

New Year, New Horizons.

Happy New Year everyone! I was thinking this afternoon about what to blog about and I realised I have one thing that is really big in my life at the moment that can easily relate to most people; change.

My family and I have entered this year with the knowledge that it would not be spent in the city we have called home for the past twelve years. When I was young we moved from South Africa, my place of birth, to New Zealand. We have spent the last twelve years in Auckland and we are now moving on again to Christchurch, the Garden City.

It was a bit of a sudden thing but after lots of consideration and prayer, we have decided to make the move regardless of the earthquakes there at the moment. We are luckily moving to a town just to the north of the city and will be out of the immediate quake zone.

While sitting at school one day with nothing to do, my mind started racing, processing all the changes I would have to go through. I sat there with the realisation that I could look at this change in one of two ways, with positivity and excitement or with negativity and resentment. I chose the option that would make me happy, make the change easier to deal with and benefit those around me, to take on a positive attitude. I sat there, bored out of my socks, open page in front of me and a fresh mind set. So I wrote a poem. Here is the poem I wrote, I hope that it encourages you and challenges the way that you look at change.

New Horizons

One comes to that point,

When that which you have,

Is no longer what you need,

Time has come for new horizons.

When new things become old,

Challenges become familiar tasks,

Excitement turns to boredom,

Time has come for new horizons.

Friends become strangers,

Enemies familiarise as neighbours,

When what was is different,

Time has come for new horizons.

When turmoil calms to a ripple,

Bullets shot feel as pillows,

Shouts stabbed heard as whispers,

Time has come for new horizons.

The best jokes rewarded with groans,

Gossip stories with faint fake smiles,

When cheap joy tiers a soul,

Time has come for new horizons.

But when one reaches the border,

Uncertainty laid ahead of you,

One comes to that point,

Where old horizons look comfortable.

Previous joys creep into memory,

Doubt looms over the sunset,

When what was is still within reach,

Time has come to take the final step.

Planting one foot,

Making one choice,

Saying one word,

Will change your life forever.

(To be finished once the new horizon becomes the ground in which my roots are planted)

 

Much love and blessings to you all for the year ahead!!! xoxo