Valentines

So we all had Valentines last week, or for those of us who are proudly single, Single Awareness Day. My Dad spoiled us four girls (My mum, two sisters and I) with gorgeous cupcakes from the Riccarton Mall's Cupcake Shop and thought I'd share the photos with you. Just a big thank you to Daddy for spoiling us and making us feel very special on a day where single girls can feel very out. Love you Daddy!!!

 

Us girls' cupcakes

 

Mummy's cupcakes

 

A Temporary World

It’s new. It’s clean. It’s special.

It’s old. It’s broken. Throw it away.

They’re new. They’re fun. They’re always near.

They’ve been there awhile. They’re busy. Move on.

At a new place. Everything’s exciting. Life’s wonderful.

Been there awhile. It’s all the same. Let’s move on.

It’s the mind set of the 21st century. When it’s new, it’s great, it’s all we want, all we talk about, all we do. But when it ages a bit, breaks or just becomes ordinary; we get rid of it. No fixing. No treasuring. No trying again. Throw it away. Move on.

But is it really a mind set that we should be practicing, embracing and transferring onto others?

We do not only reserve this mind set for possessions but extend it to people and places too. When an object, place or person has been around for sometime and is wearing at the edges; we would rather take the easy road out. Because of the fast paced life that we live, we do not make time to fix, maintain and re-kindle.

We all know about the consumerism issue but what we don’t realise is that we are doing exactly the same to people too.

When we are not getting out of friendship what we want, we are quick to throw in the towel. But are we putting in the same as we are taking out, or are we just drinking the well dry? Yes, people grow apart and move on, but why is it happening so frequently and easily? Why so often in the relationships that were meant to last a lifetime? It is because friendship with oneself, with your wallet and material things, are becoming more important than relationships with other people.

We use people for temporary joy. And then when life gets tough, people are down and we do not experience the same joy as always, we walk away. Instead of being willing to sacrifice something for someone else, it is too much for us to handle. We walk out fast and run into the next temporary joy.

Where have the stories gone about the two little girls that grew up as neighbours, became the best of friends and died together in the retirement village? When did Taylor Swift's ‘Mary’s Song’ become a fantasy rather than reality?

Why are we treating people like temporary objects? Only to find out that we really needed them, appreciated them and miss them after we’ve shown them the door?

Why are we wasting the wonderful gift of other people that God has given us?

 

Why are we creating a Temporary World of Temporary Joy?

Mini Adults

I was sitting thinking the other day about the children of today, those growing up amongst teenagers and adults especially. They grow up thinking that they need to be like the older people around them, they act like mini adults. Often the behaviour that they copy of the older generation is the negative behaviour, the shadow side of their heroes. It is not by choice that they do that but rather by chance. Memorable behaviour is like any other memory, the negative has such a big impact on you, making it easier to remember, more likely to copy.

The humour of the older generation, teenagers especially, is seen as ‘inappropriate’ for young children. The jokes can be grown up, sarcastic or with an attitude not suited to the younger children.

It irritates me when younger children act older than their age but I have come to realise, I have no right to. I am the one setting the example. What they do is a spitting image of me, of my generation. The world today does not establish an environment where young children can grow up as children. We do not provide what they need to enjoy their childhood; we push them along to grow up faster.

The whole issue around children not growing up as children anymore, not being in an environment for children has been bothering me a lot this past year (2011). Before it just bothered me, disturbed me but seemed an issue out of reach. How do we fix a global situation of ‘Mini Adults’? How do we maintain children as children? It bothered me to the point that I wrote a poem about it, I will put it at the end of the blog.

But now I have come to the conclusion that it starts with me. It takes one to make a difference, to change one life, to impact another.

When I was younger, I idolised anyone that was older than me. I wanted so badly to be like them and I believe that feeling sits within all children. I realised that the life I am living is not one that I would want someone to copy (Not that I live a bad, sin-filled life). My life wasn’t one of a world leader. And that is what our lives aught to be, a life that a world leader would live. Not in riches and materialistic things, but in character.  There is an old cheesy saying that says, ‘To the world, you may be just one person. But to one person, you may be the world.’ Live as though you may mean the world to someone and that that world may be a good one.

Are you with me? Let us make a change in our lives, to better the lives of the children around us. Let us mean every word that comes out of our mouths. Let us laugh for real. Let us cry for real. Let us love for real. Let us be real to give a real environment to those around us. Let us be world leaders and life changers.

Through the eyes of a child.

It is often said that to see the world,

In all of it’s beauty and innocence,

One must look at it,

Through the eyes of a child.

When I was a young girl,

This saying was as true as it will ever be,

Dad was the tallest, smartest and strongest,

Mum was the best cook and could make any sore better,

Through the eyes of me as a child.

Now as I grow up,

I am beginning to see the world,

In all of it’s raw state and devastation,

Through the eyes of an adult.

I begin to wonder what happened,

Where did the beauty and innocence go?

Has the world really become such a terrible place?

So comes the time when to see we must,

Look into the eyes of a child.

Children are growing up as adults,

Doing things behind parents’ backs,

Hoping it stays in secret,

Acting like the people around them,

Taking on the rudeness of the world,

The beauty and innocence was never there,

In the eyes of children today.

New Year, New Horizons.

Happy New Year everyone! I was thinking this afternoon about what to blog about and I realised I have one thing that is really big in my life at the moment that can easily relate to most people; change.

My family and I have entered this year with the knowledge that it would not be spent in the city we have called home for the past twelve years. When I was young we moved from South Africa, my place of birth, to New Zealand. We have spent the last twelve years in Auckland and we are now moving on again to Christchurch, the Garden City.

It was a bit of a sudden thing but after lots of consideration and prayer, we have decided to make the move regardless of the earthquakes there at the moment. We are luckily moving to a town just to the north of the city and will be out of the immediate quake zone.

While sitting at school one day with nothing to do, my mind started racing, processing all the changes I would have to go through. I sat there with the realisation that I could look at this change in one of two ways, with positivity and excitement or with negativity and resentment. I chose the option that would make me happy, make the change easier to deal with and benefit those around me, to take on a positive attitude. I sat there, bored out of my socks, open page in front of me and a fresh mind set. So I wrote a poem. Here is the poem I wrote, I hope that it encourages you and challenges the way that you look at change.

New Horizons

One comes to that point,

When that which you have,

Is no longer what you need,

Time has come for new horizons.

When new things become old,

Challenges become familiar tasks,

Excitement turns to boredom,

Time has come for new horizons.

Friends become strangers,

Enemies familiarise as neighbours,

When what was is different,

Time has come for new horizons.

When turmoil calms to a ripple,

Bullets shot feel as pillows,

Shouts stabbed heard as whispers,

Time has come for new horizons.

The best jokes rewarded with groans,

Gossip stories with faint fake smiles,

When cheap joy tiers a soul,

Time has come for new horizons.

But when one reaches the border,

Uncertainty laid ahead of you,

One comes to that point,

Where old horizons look comfortable.

Previous joys creep into memory,

Doubt looms over the sunset,

When what was is still within reach,

Time has come to take the final step.

Planting one foot,

Making one choice,

Saying one word,

Will change your life forever.

(To be finished once the new horizon becomes the ground in which my roots are planted)

 

Much love and blessings to you all for the year ahead!!! xoxo

The Challenge of Laughter.

So, last night I was jumping with my little sister on the trampoline and she was laughing the entire time. She has one of those really cute, addictive laughs. I couldn’t help but laugh along with her. Holding hands, jumping and giggling the afternoon away as we watched the sun slowly set. Her laugh was so innocent, untouched by the reality of our world, it was genuine. It made me think about the plasticness (I’m pretty sure I just made that word up) of people’s laughs. It’s hard to find a laugh that’s real, like my siste'rs. A laugh that, as us South Africans say, comes from the pit of one’s stomach and bubbles up through your throat.

Often we just laugh because we think we have to or to make ourselves or others feel good. But that moment when someone laughs and you can hear it is genuine and rippling through their body is absolutely magical. More joy is brought in one genuine body shaking laugh than in a days worth of loud plastic laughs.

Another wonderful thing about laughter is the uniqueness of every one. I mean, my Mum has a very loud cackling laugh that you can hear from a mile away, my Oupa had a Santa laugh (he literally went ‘ho, ho, ho!’), my older sister has a more subdued shake but when she really finds something hysterical, it tends to resemble my Mum’s… I have that laugh that, and I quote, ‘If you don’t quieten down, you’ll break the windows!’ My Ouma has a very cheeky laugh that resides in the back of her mouth that makes a sort of ‘tch, tch, tch’ sound. My Dad’s is just very loud, full and frequent. All of these laughs are different, crazy but bring joy to my heart whenever I hear them.

The whole revelation on the tramp made me think. When I laugh, is it genuine? Do I only really laugh for certain people? At certain times? Am I like a migrating duck, constantly flying, the same with everyone? Or like a butterfly (I had to use them somehow but hate using them in a negative context) resting every once in a while? What about you?

Over and out :D

 

Oh, and a very Merry Christmas to my trusty follower!!!

The Power of Words

Recently I was thinking about the power of something simple, something we take for granted; words. They are a very powerful thing, more powerful than we realise. Saying one sentence, or one word, can change the course of your life forever. Yes, I sound cliché but it is true.

Sticking with cliché, if a man proposes to a woman one word can alter (or altar :P) both their lives. Just a simple yes or no answer changes everything. Absolutely everything they know. Moving away from the cliché, I was recently faced with the decision to choose a new school. After ages of debating, I said one sentence that is going alter the path for me over the next few years. I was daunted by the decision for ages, but when the time came to make up my mind I was struck with the impact of my words.

The other huge impact of words is the absence of them. Keeping words from people that mean a lot to you hurts both you and them. Like the elephant in the room, something that everyone knows but doesn’t talk about it. It’s the keeping or hiding of words that impact more than the speaking of words. When you know something about someone that affects your life and theirs but they won’t and don’t talk to you about it hurts you more than you can describe. It’s the unspoken words that create awkward gaps between people, pulls people apart. (This connects with my last two posts).

I am a very blunt person; I say things how they are and try not to keep impacting things from people. But in saying that, I don’t go around telling everyone everything about me; I’m just not that kind of person. I believe that if you can help it, don’t keep things from people that might hurt them. If it is within your passable knowledge (My way of saying that what you know can be passed on) to say something to someone that may have an impact on their life, say it. Don’t hold back. What if that was you.  I was recently on the holding side of information by request (My knowledge was not passable) and it hurt me so much to keep that knowledge inside when I knew that it would impact this person’s life. It hurt them too, as they found out via someone else (Whose knowledge was passable) and they got confused.

When I saw that person next, I decided to tell them what I knew. I shared with them what I knew, how it hurt to keep it from them and listened to how me not sharing had hurt them. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but I am so glad that I got it off my chest. I have taken the knife out of the wound but as with anything, it will take time for the wound to completely heal.

I’m pretty sure I wrote a poem on this a while ago… Nope, I haven’t. I’ll work on it. :)

Grown Apart

So, I promised that I'd write a poem on the spilting of friendships through personal experience. It was a tough poem to write, keeping the feeling but not blaming others. Anway, here it is

 

Grown Apart

You are the hub of the action,

The centrepiece of the conversation,

The one everyone wants to know,

The one everyone wants to talk to,

The one everyone wants to be around,

But suddenly it is gone.

No longer the hub of the action,

No longer the centrepiece of the conversation,

The one no one wants to know you,

The one no one wants to talk to,

The one no one wants to be around,

Suddenly you face a new reality.

Waltzing through the school gates,

Hugging every second soul,

Chatting about the weekend events,

Bouncing through the locker bay,

Reluctantly budged by the bell,

But suddenly it is changed.

Slouching through the school gates,

Hands shoved in blazer pockets,

Lips sealed and pulled taut,

Sliding through the locker bay,

Rushing before the bell,

Suddenly you face a new reality.

Weeks this continues,

Days last forever,

Emotionally drained,

Mentally frazzled,

The ice under your feet melting and cracked,

Your toes dip into the frozen water.

But enough is enough,

When you hit the bottom of the popularity chain,

Barely scraping through a school day,

Time comes to stand up,

To live through the pain,

To deny them the victory.

So you smile at the sight of them,

Smirk when they try to bring you down,

Force your way into new groups,

Laugh at new jokes,

When they whisper and point,

Walk away in victory.

At the end of this torture,

You realise the pain did not start,

When you felt it,

The pain was always there,

In the way that you restrained yourself from them,

You were never you with them.

You felt as though they knew you,

As if you could trust them,

But in the end you find that false,

They never knew you and never loved you,

Only ever used you for personal gain,

But for you it was for personal growth.

You find yourself now with many friends,

None as steady as before,

But all more genuine,

As if there was plastic suspended over your friendships,

And the breaking of one broke the plastic off the rest,

You find yourself as free as… as a butterfly.